The Dark Secrets of YuGiOh
by Seraphim-of-Chaos
Summary: What would happen if Yami Bakura shot the 4Kids Entertainment Producer in the face with a shotgun and all Hell broke loose because the characters are allowed to do and say whatever they want and no one can stop them? This.
1. The begining

**The Dark Secrets of Yu-Gi-Oh!**

Yay! My first story up after so...so long...I hope ya missed me!

YamiNeo: Um...no.

Neo: T.T That was cruel...let's get to the story!

_Chapter 1: Leggo my Eggo!_

Deep Narrator-like voice: Yu-Gi-Oh...without 4kids Entertainment watering it down...what would it be like?

Yami Yugi: Like an episode of Teletubbies!

Kaiba: No, you moron! It would be a lot better then it is right now. If PBS did the show, no one would watch it!

Joey: Hey, we're in a show? Cool! . v

Kaiba: -- Dumbass...

Deep Voice: EHEM! Anyway...um...where was I?

Joey: Got me, pal.

Yugi: We'll handle it from here, ok?

Deep Voice: But...I have to do it...It's my job!

Kaiba: Then go back to feeding your family with pipecleaners and loogies, you pathetic waste!

Yami Yugi: Ewwwww...

Deep Voice: sobs and leaves

Tristan: Um...question. Why is the title, "Leggo my Eggo?"

Mai: wearing clothing completely made of Eggo waffles Hi guys!

Joey: O.O Holy sh...

Yami Yugi: Don't EVEN!

Tristan: Oh...that explains it.

Tea: tempted to grab a waffle

Mai: backs away Uh-uh. No...bad Tea!

Tea: whimpers But I'm so hungry...

Joey: successfully steals the waffle covering her belly button Oopsie...

Yami Yugi: O.O Dear Ra...

Grandpa: covers Yugi's eyes

Kaiba: Um...I'm not gonna ask...

4Kids Producer: ahem We can't show that!

Bakura: You don't own us anymore.

Yami Bakura: For once, I agree!

Marik: This is just too strange.

Odion: Don't look, master! It will hurt your mind!

Isizu: I think it is too late, Odion.

Marik: braindead XX

Odion: Master? O.O;

Marik: I can't feel...my ovaries...

Tea: Um...I think there is a reason for that.

Kaiba: Dumbass! You don't have ovaries! Or...do you? shiver

4Kids Producer: This is Chaos!

Yami Marik: Cap it!

Yami Bakura: shoots producer in the face with a shotgun

Yami Yugi: Oh no...what have you DONE?!

Yami Bakura: Um...I shot his face off. Duh.

Yami Yugi: Have you no shame?

Yami Bakura: Um...think of who you are asking.

Yami Yugi: Oh. I see.

Mokuba: Please don't shoot me...

Kaiba: You had best leave Mokuba alone.

Yami Bakura: I have no need to kill your sex slave...

Kaiba: Thank y...oh wait a minute...

Yami Yugi: passes out

Yugi: Oh jeez...

Bakura: Quickly! Someone must revive him!

Kaiba: kicks Yami Yugi in the balls

Yami Yugi: O.O;;;;;;;;;;;; Yowy!

Bakura: Crude...yet obscurely effective.

Yami Bakura: Aw...share the wealth, Kaiba!

Kaiba: He's still there...

Yami Bakura: Yay! kicks Yami Yugi in the balls

Yami Yugi: Owy! Stop it! .

Kaiba: laughing hysterically

This is just to wet your taste buds for the impending insanity! Please, be faithful and R/R!


	2. CSI

Chapter 2: CSI

Neo, YamiNeo and Yami Bakura sit in a large boardroom like on the Apprentice. Neo looks to the others. "Okay...whose doin the disclaimer?"

"I ain't doin it...let the guy who killed the 4Kids producer do it." YamiNeo says, pointing a thumb to Yami Bakura, who laughs. "You're just jealous that I remembered my shotgun and you didn't." Yami Bakura says, then continues to laugh. YamiNeo grunts, then looks to Neo. "You do the disclaimer." Neo's eyes widen. "Why me?" YamiNeo chuckles. " 'cause I'm just too damn lazy..."

Neo sighs. "I don't own a figgin' thing, besides YamiNeo." At this, YamiNeo scoffs. "You don't own me, I own YOU!" Neo cringes and starts the movie.

In the last Chapter...Yami Bakura shot the producer of 4Kids Entertainment in the face with a shotgun...obviously, Yami Yugi is not very happy with this.

"What have you gotten us into?" Yami Yugi cries out. "We don't have a producer! I feel so lost..."

"Get a hold of yourself, you fool!" Yami Bakura scoffs. "I've set us free! Free! Like little butterflies!" Joey cringes. "Butterflies? Aw man...I wanna be a puppy."

"No...we are butterflies!" Yami Bakura retorts.

"Puppies!" Joey shoutd!

"Butterflies!"

"Puppies!

"Butterflies!"

"Puppies!

"Butterflies!"

"Puppies!

"Enough before I shoot you both!" Yami Marik yells, clearly aggitated by the butterfly vs. puppy civil war. Joey grunts and turns away from Yami Bakura ((Man...doing this crap like this is absolute murder! No more one line sentences...Damn system admins...)) and Yami Bakura stares at him threateningly. Yami Yugi blinks for a bit then speaks. "Y'know Yugi, this no producer stuff gets weirder every minute." Yugi looks to his Yami. "Yeah, I hear ya. But now what.?" Joey turns around and makes "The Face." ((You know what "The Face" is...that face he gives that looks like he ate Pegasus and got constipated on is innards...yeah, _that _face.)) "We'll do whateva we want, that's what!"

Suddenly, some music from "The Who" play and three people walk in, Gill Grissim an his...how whould you say...'posse.' ((YamiNeo looks to Neo. "Posse? You called them a 'posse'?" Neo looks to him. "Shut the hell up and watch the damn movie!" YamiNeo looks to him. "And I think you spelt that guys name wrong." Neo snaps. "SHUT UP BEFORE I CASTERATE YOU WITH A SPORK YOU EFFIN MORON!" YamiNeo whimpers and falls silent.)) Gill looks to the body of the producer. He looks to Yami Bakura, who still has the shotgun. "Did you shoot him?" Gill asks. Yami Bakura laughs. "No...he wanted to know what a .12 gauge round in the face felt like, so I simply showed him. Not my fault he died from it...friggin moron." At this, Gill ((YamiNeo pauses the movie. "You know...I really think you got his name-" Neo grabs him by the neck. "SHUT IT!" he yells, then the movie continues)) nods. "Ah...ok. But...you still killed him." he says slowly. Yami Bakura laughs maniacally. "It was a mercy killing! I mercy killing I tell you! Freedom from our oppressor! Power to the people!" he yells, and Detective Brass comes in. "Brass, arrest this guy in contempt." he says, pointing to Yami Bakura. Brass slaps the cuffs on, and Yami Bakura begins to scream. "No! You cannot take me! I am free! I AM FREE!" Yami Bakura breaks from his cuffs and starts flapping his arms. "I AM A LITTLE BUTTERFLY!" he yells, as Brass drags him out of the house. Gill looks to Yugi. "We'll have to search your home for the rest of the bodies." he says. Yugi raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" he asks. Marik looks to Yami Marik, who immediately protests. "It wasn't me this time!" Neo and YamiNeo look to each other. "Other bodies?" they both say. Sarah Sidel ((YamiNeo looks at the name. "I think you-" Neo glares at him. "Don't...say it..." he snears, and YamiNeo starts the tape yet again)) nod. "Yeah, the entire 4Kids staff is dead." At this, all the cast members, besides Yami Yugi of course, start to cheer. Yami Yugi curls up into a ball on the floor and cries. "Why...WHY!" he sobs. Gil, Sarah and Worrack ((Neo looks to YamiNeo. "Don't say a thing!" he yells. YamiNeo whimpers.)) blink. "Those guys are really broken up about this, huh?" Worrack asks, then Sarah looks at her watch. "Hey! Hooters just opened! Let's motor! We can look for dead peopel later!" she says excitedly, then they all ruch out the door. YamiNeo runs after them, but is caught by Neo. "Aw...but I wanna see some boobs too..." he whimpers. Neo shakes his head. Joey looks to Mai, eyeing the waffle covering Mai's right boob, then taking it off. Everyone is silent. Bakura looks to Mai. "Oh...my...GOD!" he says, staring blankly at it. Kaiba would look to Joey. "Damn Wheeler! Didn't know you had it in you!" he says, patting Joey on the back. Yami Yugi looks to Joey, now crying even harder. "Joey! How could you!" he says. Joey shakes his head. "It was a wardrobe malfunction I tell ya!" he says, then eats the waffle and follows the CSI cast to Hooters. YamiNeo calls after Joey. "And bring me back so wings!" Mai looks to her exposed boob. "Hm...need another waffle." she says, then goes to raid the freezer. The rest of the cast just stands there, looking down as flies began to gather around the corpse.

To be Continued


End file.
